I hope everyone has a great Christmas holiday this year. Don’t forget to sing to all your neighbors, Chickenhead’s hilarious carol Twas the Night Before Christmas on the DMZ.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the DMZ, the darkness was stirred by a lone Christmas tree.

Love gifts were hung from the balloons with care, in hopes they’d pass north through the cold winter air.

The soldiers were nestled all snug in their bunks, while visions of peaceful reunification gave them goose bumps.

With a ho in her hooker boots, and I in the buff, I had just bent her over to treat her ass good and rough.

When out on the lawn arose loud banging and clicking, I sprang from my bed to see whose ass needed kicking.

Away to the window I flew all in fear, knocked over my soju and two bottles of beer.

The moon on the snow and the flares in the sky, gave the luster of mid-day so I could not deny.

When, what to my wondering eyes should I see, but a horde of Nork soldiers, tanks and artillery.

With pictures of Dear Leader and muzzle flashes aglow, I wished for more combat training instead of briefings from EO.

They yelled threats and commands, I knew I was funked. My Tagalog was great but my Korean skills sucked.

“Now, Kim! Now, Lee! Now, Park and Gong! On, Choi! On Kwak! On, Nam and Song!

To the top of the hill! To the top of the wall! Now kill the white devils, kill them all!”

And they hit the main gate the first time they tried, where napping KATUSAs with empty guns died.

They attacked the wall of the BX and opened a chasm, and looted the place, a black market orgasm.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard down the hall, shooting and stabbing and harsh Han Gook Mal.

As I searched for a weapon and looked all around, an evil Nork soldier came in with a bound.

He was dressed all in rags, from his head to his foot, and his sockless toes could be seen through his boot.

A smoking AK he had flung on his back, and I picked up my XBox to give him a whack.

His eyes – how they twinkled! Narrow and scarry! But he looked like a teen who still had his cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up in rage, and though I hadn’t saved my game, I had to engage.

A rusty old knife, he held in his teeth, as with hunger abound, he’d likely eaten the sheath.

He had a big square head and lacked any belly, while I only passed my tape test on a diet of petroleum jelly.

I put down my XBox and said, “Here’s the deal.” “If you don’t kill me, I’ll cook you a meal.”

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his plate, and gobbled Hamburger Helper like a trailer park date.

To get him to leave, I thought of more ploys, “Why don’t you take my hot juicy back to your boys?”

He sprang out the door with my juicy in tow, and the last that I saw, they’d formed a line in the snow.

I hid under my bed with my XBox on, And played Medal of Honor ’till the airstrike got here from Guam.

I guess we will see if North Korea follows through with its Christmas gift threat:

Few signs of unusual military moves have been detected in North Korea so far, officials said Tuesday, amid concern Pyongyang could test-fire an intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM) as a “Christmas gift” to the United States.

Officials noted, however, that the North could undertake a surprise provocation at any time and that the South’s military is maintaining readiness for a worst-case scenario while keeping a close watch over the communist neighbor.

“There have not been specific moves in the North as of now that indicate high-profile military actions,” a military officer said. “We have been fully prepared for any incidents, and we always keep in mind a worst-case scenario.”

As denuclearization negotiations with the U.S. have made little progress, North Korea warned that it is entirely up to the U.S. to decide what Christmas gift it gets, sparking concerns that Pyongyang could carry out highly provocative acts such as an ICBM launch.

When firing its Hwasong-14 ICBM on July 4, 2017, the North labeled it as “a gift” for the U.S.

Yonhap

You can read more at the link.

It looks like the U.S. might sending a message back to the North Koreans about what could happen in response to their “Christmas Present”:

 Special forces of South Korea and the United States carried out regular combined drills last month at a South Korean air force base under the scenario of raiding an enemy camp and capturing an agent, apparently targeting North Korea.

According to photos released by the U.S. military, the U.S.’ Special Operations Command Korea and South Korea’s Special Warfare Command conducted “close quarters battle training” at Kunsan Air Base located in South Korea’s western city of Gunsan in November as part of their regular training program.

Yonhap

You can read more at the link.

It seems pretty clear that the brother is trying to sideline her because of the bad publicity her presence would bring. With that said people need to get over the whole “nut rage” incident. She was vilified, sent to jail, lost her job, humiliated, and then even divorced by her husband. I think she has been punished enough for turning a plane around at the airport:

Cho Hyun-ah, former Korean Air executive vice president, accused her younger brother Monday of not leading Hanjin Group in accordance with their father’s dying injunctions, signaling a sibling feud over control of the logistics-centered conglomerate.

Cho, who is notorious for her 2014 “nut rage” incident, released a statement via her legal representative, claiming that Hanjin Group Chairman Cho Won-tae is not following their father’s instructions regarding group management.

“Our father wanted the family to run the business together, but Hanjin Group is currently neglecting his last words,” Hyun-ah said through her legal representative. 

Former Hanjin Group Chairman Cho Yang-ho died of a chronic lung disease in Los Angeles in April at the age of 70.

Their feud surfaced in May when the board of Hanjin KAL, the group’s holding company, belatedly named Won-tae as the group’s new chairman reorganized by the Fair Trade Act. Hyun-ah and her sister Hyun-min allegedly disagreed with their brother.

The three seemed to have reached a consensus when Won-tae told reporters that the three have ironed out their differences and agreed to work together. However, Hyun-ah has not yet returned to the family-run business. 

Korea Times

You can read more at the link.

You have to be a Korea watcher for many years to understand the significance of this delivery:

South Korea on Monday took delivery of its first Global Hawk unmanned aircraft, vastly expanding the range of its aerial surveillance to include the entirety of the Korean Peninsula and beyond.

The high-altitude RQ-4 Block 30 Global Hawk drone, built by U.S. defense manufacturer Northrop Grumman, arrived at an Air Force base in Sacheon, South Gyeongsang, at around 5 a.m. – the first of four such aircraft Seoul acquired in an approximately $1.2-billion deal.

Seoul’s earliest attempt to acquire the drone from the United States took place in 2003 – when North Korea was in the early stages of its nuclear development program – and it was only in 2014 that the acquisition was finally approved by Washington. While the unmanned aerial vehicle (UAV) was expected to be delivered by early 2018, the United States delayed the transfer owing to cybersecurity issues. Then errors with the drones’ radar and electro-optical or infrared sensors caused further delays this year.

Joong Ang Ilbo

You can read more at the link, but this sale has been in the works since 2003 because of the delays caused by concerns that technology and information would be leaked to North Korea.  Now with the US wanting the ROK to take on more of their defense responsibilities the sale was approved and hopefully whatever concerns of technology leaks has been mitigated as well.