The answer is, not much:

There technically is an Internet that only a very small fraction of the population, including government employees or select university students, can access.

When they do, they likely only go to about the 10 to 15 “government-blessed” sites that computers in the country would be able to access, which would inevitably be monitored, said Martyn Williams, who runs a North Korean tech blog.

“They’re quite good at self-censoring,” Williams told ABC News. “They know what sites they should and shouldn’t go.”

New government-approved sites are added “every few months” but some examples that have been accessible outside of North Korea recently include a cooking website with different recipes for rice.

The Korea National Insurance Corporation has a rotating slideshow of pictures, including one that shows snow-covered artillery guns.

“Not many people have used it but it’s a lot of smoke propaganda,” Williams said.

The websites with servers that are based in North Korea and are visible outside its borders end in the .kp domain, though there is an entirely separate intranet system that residents are able to access through some library and university computers, Williams noted.

“That for most people is the closest they’ve come to a computer,” he said.

Williams estimated that the number of people who regularly use the Internet in North Korea was probably somewhere between 10,000 and 20,000 people, and since Monday’s attack took place in the evening hours local time, the number of people who noticed would be far less.  [ABC News]

You can read more at the link.

South Koreans Support Ban on Party: Poll http://t.co/Txlb7FdPTz

— South Korea Daily (@SouthKoreaDaily) December 22, 2014

Models display “easy coconuts” equipped with full taps at an event in Seoul on Dec. 24, 2014. (Yonhap)

Back due to popular demand is Chickenhead’s hilarious carol “Christmas on the DMZ”:

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the DMZ,

the darkness was stirred by a lone Christmas tree.

Love gifts were hung from the balloons with care,

in hopes they’d pass north through the cold winter air.

The soldiers were nestled all snug in their bunks,

while visions of peaceful reunification gave them goose bumps.

With a ho in her hooker boots, and I in the buff,

I had just bent her over to treat her ass good and rough.

When out on the lawn arose loud banging and clicking,

I sprang from my bed to see whose ass needed kicking.

Away to the window I flew all in fear,

knocked over my soju and two bottles of beer.

The moon on the snow and the flares in the sky,

gave the luster of mid-day so I could not deny.

When, what to my wondering eyes should I see,

but a horde of Nork soldiers, tanks and artillery.

With pictures of Dear Leader and muzzle flashes aglow,

I wished for more combat training instead of briefings from EO.

They yelled threats and commands, I knew I was funked.

My Tagalog was great but my Korean skills sucked.

“Now, Kim! Now, Lee! Now, Park and Gong!

On, Choi! On Kwak! On, Nam and Song!

To the top of the hill! To the top of the wall!

Now kill the white devils, kill them all!”

And they hit the main gate the first time they tried,

where napping KATUSAs with empty guns died.

They attacked the wall of the BX and opened a chasm,

and looted the place, a black market orgasm.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard down the hall,

shooting and stabbing and harsh Han Gook Mal.

As I searched for a weapon and looked all around,

an evil Nork soldier came in with a bound.

He was dressed all in rags, from his head to his foot,

and his sockless toes could be seen through his boot.

A smoking AK he had flung on his back,

and I picked up my XBox to give him a whack.

His eyes – how they twinkled! Narrow and scarry!

But he looked like a teen who still had his cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up in rage,

and though I hadn’t saved my game, I had to engage.

A rusty old knife, he held in his teeth,

as with hunger abound, he’d likely eaten the sheath.

He had a big square head and lacked any belly,

while I only passed my tape test on a diet of petroleum jelly.

I put down my XBox and said, “Here’s the deal.”

“If you don’t kill me, I’ll cook you a meal.”

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his plate,

and gobbled Hamburger Helper like a trailer park date.

To get him to leave, I thought of more ploys,

“Why don’t you take my hot juicy back to your boys?”

He sprang out the door with my juicy in tow,

and the last that I saw, they’d formed a line in the snow.

I hid under my bed with my XBox on,

And played Medal of Honor ’till the airstrike got here from Guam.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, happy holidays, or a great day off depending on how you celebrate this time of the year.

Image of Shin Se-kyung via Vivien.

Here is a ROK Drop Christmas present for all you male readers out there:

Rookie actress No Soo Ram was recently accused of intruding on the ‘Blue Dragon Film Awards‘ without an invitation.

According to the film award representatives, No Soo Ram was not on the official list of invited actresses, but because she arrived at the event dressed for the occasion, they weren’t able to turn her away.   [AllKpop.com]

Via the Marmot’s Hole it appears that the Uber’s days are number in Korea once Daum-Kakao releases their app that is endorsed by t

South Korea’s leading free messenger service operator Daum Kakao said Wednesday it will launch a taxi service app by the first half of next year as it initiates a new platform of connecting online and offline businesses.

Daum Kakao signed a memorandum of understanding with the Seoul Taxi Association and Korea Smart Card Co. for the service that would link customers with the closest cab through a mobile app. The taxi association has some 255 Seoul-based cab operators as members, and Korea Smart Card is the country’s top transportation payment system provider.

“Daum Kakao has established important grounds for the operation of Kakao Taxi, and we plan to expand cooperation with other taxi operators throughout the country in the future,” the company said in its release.  [Yonhap]

You can read more at the link, but the Seoul city government passed an ordinance offering rewards of up to a Million Won to people who report Uber taxis which will set the stage for the Daum-Kakao app to take over this market.

Bad news for native English teachers in Korea if this comes into law because it would reduce the number of English teaching jobs available in Korea:

Some 100 owners of private English institutes across Korea gathered in Seoul, Tuesday, to protest the government’s plan to ban native teachers from working at so-called English language kindergartens.

This comes after the Ministry of Education announced the plan last week as part of its efforts to help households reduce spending on private education.

Such institutes for children are often called English kindergartens, although they are not registered as under the law. With intensive English programs, they usually charge about double the cost of other kindergartens.

The ministry is now collecting opinions about the plan before making a final decision.

Members of the Korea Association of Hagwon said that the new policy not only hurts children’s ability to improve their English, but also violates parents’ right to choose the way they educate their children.  [Korea Times]

You can read more at the link, but the plan to ban native English teachers is supposed to reduce the costs of sending children to English hagwons.

First Havana, next Pyongyang? http://t.co/UPs0oLEmgu

— NK NEWS (@nknewsorg) December 22, 2014

Chaplain Kenny Lynch conducts services north of Hwachon, Korea, for men of 31st Regt. August 28, 1951. Pvt. Jack D. Johnson. (Army)