Byung-hyun Kim the Perfect Rockies Pitcher
However, I couldn’t help but notice one stat line that absolutley amazed me. It wasn’t his ERA of 9.64, the fact he averages over one walk an inning, the fact he is 0-3, blown every save opportunity, or even the fact he has an ERA of 27 over the past week. No what amazes me the most is the fact he is due to get paid $6,575,000 this year. Seeing the amount of money he is making it is no wonder Kim sticks around the big leagues and continues to get shelled every game and booed instead of returning to Korea to play.
Being a Colorado Rockies fan I would have to say that Kim is the perfect pitcher for Colorado. He is over paid, walks lots of batters, and gives up lots of home runs ensuring that every game is a high scoring shootout. The first place the Red Sox probably called to get rid of him was the Rockies. Who else would be willing to take this guy off their hands? If he couldn’t learn to improve his pitching with guys like Curt Schilling, Pedro Martinez, and Tim Wakefield on his team how the heck did the Rockies think their pitching staff that is last in league in ERA every year was going to get him to turn around? Then there is also the little fact that Coors Field is even more notorious for giving up home runs then Kim is and he would have to play half his game in that park.
Since obviously the Rockies will hire anybody to pitch for them I have decided I will do my part to help out my home state team. I will become a free agent and offer them my pitching services. I haven’t pitched since high school but heck I can’t do worse then Kim. I would get along with the coach and teammates and I wouldn’t flip off the fans, which are all things Kim is infamous for. Plus I’m confident I could keep my ERA under 27. I will even put a clause in my contract that if I go over an ERA of 27 they cut half my pay. I will even be willing to start at a quarter of the pay that Kim is getting so the management could go hire some real players. But knowing the Rockies management they will probably rather just give Kim a lucrative contract extension.
To be fair, his arm is damaged so he can't throw the 92 MPH pitch over like he used to.
The biggest mistake he made is that he tried to be a starter when he should have been happy being a closer.