Tag: Christmas

I hope everyone has a great Christmas holiday this year. Don’t forget to sing to all your neighbors, Chickenhead’s hilarious carol Twas the Night Before Christmas on the DMZ.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the DMZ, the darkness was stirred by a lone Christmas tree.

Love gifts were hung from the balloons with care, in hopes they’d pass north through the cold winter air.

The soldiers were nestled all snug in their bunks, while visions of peaceful reunification gave them goose bumps.

With a ho in her hooker boots, and I in the buff, I had just bent her over to treat her ass good and rough.

When out on the lawn arose loud banging and clicking, I sprang from my bed to see whose ass needed kicking.

Away to the window I flew all in fear, knocked over my soju and two bottles of beer.

The moon on the snow and the flares in the sky, gave the luster of mid-day so I could not deny.

When, what to my wondering eyes should I see, but a horde of Nork soldiers, tanks and artillery.

With pictures of Dear Leader and muzzle flashes aglow, I wished for more combat training instead of briefings from EO.

They yelled threats and commands, I knew I was funked. My Tagalog was great but my Korean skills sucked.

“Now, Kim! Now, Lee! Now, Park and Gong! On, Choi! On Kwak! On, Nam and Song!

To the top of the hill! To the top of the wall! Now kill the white devils, kill them all!”

And they hit the main gate the first time they tried, where napping KATUSAs with empty guns died.

They attacked the wall of the BX and opened a chasm, and looted the place, a black market orgasm.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard down the hall, shooting and stabbing and harsh Han Gook Mal.

As I searched for a weapon and looked all around, an evil Nork soldier came in with a bound.

He was dressed all in rags, from his head to his foot, and his sockless toes could be seen through his boot.

A smoking AK he had flung on his back, and I picked up my XBox to give him a whack.

His eyes – how they twinkled! Narrow and scarry! But he looked like a teen who still had his cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up in rage, and though I hadn’t saved my game, I had to engage.

A rusty old knife, he held in his teeth, as with hunger abound, he’d likely eaten the sheath.

He had a big square head and lacked any belly, while I only passed my tape test on a diet of petroleum jelly.

I put down my XBox and said, “Here’s the deal.” “If you don’t kill me, I’ll cook you a meal.”

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his plate, and gobbled Hamburger Helper like a trailer park date.

To get him to leave, I thought of more ploys, “Why don’t you take my hot juicy back to your boys?”

He sprang out the door with my juicy in tow, and the last that I saw, they’d formed a line in the snow.

I hid under my bed with my XBox on, And played Medal of Honor ’till the airstrike got here from Guam.

Here is an article by a ROK Drop favorite and historian Robert Neff about how a US military unit in 1954 brought Christmas cheer to a group of Korean kids in post-war Korea:

For a soldier, Christmas is one of the hardest seasons to be away from family and friends but the military does its best, not only for its service members but also for the local community, to provide holiday cheer.

Through the lens of Corporal Marburger’s camera, we get a glimpse of what Christmas was like for an engineer unit and a group of Korean children in Seoul in 1954. 

Santa Claus’ arrival naturally drew a large crowd of children. For many of them, this was their first encounter with the jolly old man. Some were thrilled but others seemed terrified. 

Korea Times

You can read the whole thing and view many more historical pictures at the link.

However, I would imagine seeing a big fat foreigner dressed in red trying to grab you would be a pretty traumatic experience for a young Korean kid back then.

I hope everyone and their families have a great Christmas holiday this year. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate Christmas then by re-reading Chickenhead’s hilarious Twas the Night Before Christmas on the DMZ which is a true holiday classic.

Christmas on the DMZ

Members of a South Korean animal rights group perform in Insadong, central Seoul, on Dec. 24, 2017, to oppose the butchery of dogs and other animals. (Yonhap)

Participants in Santa outfits march in a parade on Seoullo 7017, an overpass that has been redeveloped as a walking path, on Dec. 23, 2017.  [Yonhap]

Holidaymakers watch an early Christmas parade during a winter festival at the Everland amusement park in Yongin, south of Seoul, on Nov. 19, 2017. (Yonhap)

Nothing says Christmas in North Korea more than celebrating someone named Kim Jong-suk:

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has reportedly replaced Christmas with celebrations honoring his deceased grandmother. While Christians remain a minority in North Korea, Kim has declared Dec. 25 a holiday to pay tribute to Kim Jong Suk, who died in 1949, according to media reports Sunday.

Kim’s grandmother was born on Christmas Eve in 1919. Known as the “Sacred Mother of the Revolution,” she was the wife of former North Korean leader Kim Il Sung and a Communist activist. To honor her birthday, many North Koreans visit her tomb on Dec. 25 each year.

North Korea has prevously banned Christmas trees and Kim has upheld his family’s anti-Christmas beliefs. In 2014, he threatened war against South Korea after it announced it would erect a Christmas tree along the border. 

“The DPRK ostentatiously treats anyone of faith, but especially Christians, as hostile,” wrote Doug Bandow, a Senior Fellow at the Cato Institute, a libertarian think tank in Washington, D.C. “Believers place loyalty to God before that of the North Korean state. Churches allow people to act and organize outside of state entities. Christianity also has ties to a world seen as almost uniformly threatening by Pyongyang.”  [International Business Times via a reader tip]

You can read more at the link, but considering how various Christian groups have been helping defectors escape from North Korea, it should be no surprise that Kim Jong-un has tried to eliminate Christmas.