Men of Co “B”, 4th Signal Bn, X US Corps, prepare to decorate the Christmas tree at Bn HQ. Korea. 11 December 1951. [Army.mil]

It just wouldn’t be Christmas without posting Chickenhead’s hilarious carol “Christmas on the DMZ”:

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the DMZ,

the darkness was stirred by a lone Christmas tree.

Love gifts were hung from the balloons with care,

in hopes they’d pass north through the cold winter air.

The soldiers were nestled all snug in their bunks,

while visions of peaceful reunification gave them goose bumps.

With a ho in her hooker boots, and I in the buff,

I had just bent her over to treat her ass good and rough.

When out on the lawn arose loud banging and clicking,

I sprang from my bed to see whose ass needed kicking.

Away to the window I flew all in fear,

knocked over my soju and two bottles of beer.

The moon on the snow and the flares in the sky,

gave the luster of mid-day so I could not deny.

When, what to my wondering eyes should I see,

but a horde of Nork soldiers, tanks and artillery.

With pictures of Dear Leader and muzzle flashes aglow,

I wished for more combat training instead of briefings from EO.

They yelled threats and commands, I knew I was funked.

My Tagalog was great but my Korean skills sucked.

“Now, Kim! Now, Lee! Now, Park and Gong!

On, Choi! On Kwak! On, Nam and Song!

To the top of the hill! To the top of the wall!

Now kill the white devils, kill them all!”

And they hit the main gate the first time they tried,

where napping KATUSAs with empty guns died.

They attacked the wall of the BX and opened a chasm,

and looted the place, a black market orgasm.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard down the hall,

shooting and stabbing and harsh Han Gook Mal.

As I searched for a weapon and looked all around,

an evil Nork soldier came in with a bound.

He was dressed all in rags, from his head to his foot,

and his sockless toes could be seen through his boot.

A smoking AK he had flung on his back,

and I picked up my XBox to give him a whack.

His eyes – how they twinkled! Narrow and scarry!

But he looked like a teen who still had his cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up in rage,

and though I hadn’t saved my game, I had to engage.

A rusty old knife, he held in his teeth,

as with hunger abound, he’d likely eaten the sheath.

He had a big square head and lacked any belly,

while I only passed my tape test on a diet of petroleum jelly.

I put down my XBox and said, “Here’s the deal.”

“If you don’t kill me, I’ll cook you a meal.”

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his plate,

and gobbled Hamburger Helper like a trailer park date.

To get him to leave, I thought of more ploys,

“Why don’t you take my hot juicy back to your boys?”

He sprang out the door with my juicy in tow,

and the last that I saw, they’d formed a line in the snow.

I hid under my bed with my XBox on,

And played Medal of Honor ’till the airstrike got here from Guam.

The three wise men make big mistake… pic.twitter.com/JZacqXW2KY

— The Telegraph (@Telegraph) December 23, 2015

A leg-shaped sculpture is seen at a park in Imjingak near the demilitarized zone (DMZ) separating the two Koreas on Dec. 23, 2013, as the Army holds an event to unveil the structure symbolizing the legs that the two soldiers — Ssg. Kim Jung-won and Ssg. Hah Jae-hun — lost in a landmine blast blamed on North Korea in August. At the event, the two soldiers were awarded national orders for their “bravery and contributions” to national security. Kim is walking again with a prosthetic leg while Ha, who lost both legs, is continuing his rehabilitation. (Yonhap)

Does a 90% tax on a $100 a month salary make someone a slave?:

More than 2,500 North Korean workers have been forced to work in Mongolia and Poland under poor working conditions with their human rights being violated, a South Korean civic group said Wednesday.

About 1,800 North Korean workers are being forced to work mainly in Mongolia’s construction sector or in sewing factories while around 800 North Koreans are employed in Poland in the shipbuilding and construction sectors, according to the Database Center for North Korean Human Rights.

Marzuki Darusman, U.N. special rapporteur on the human rights situation in North Korea, said in his report that more than 50,000 North Koreans have been forced to work abroad, mainly in China and Russia, as the North seeks to earn hard currency.

The civic group said Mongolia has had close ties with North Korea for a long time and a distinctive geographical location bordering Russia and China where thousands of North Koreans are forced to labor.

Poland had friendly relations with North Korea during the era of the former Soviet Union and it is known as one of two European Union nations including Malta that has hired North Korean workers.

The agency said that North Korean workers in the two countries have repatriated about 90 percent of their salary to North Korea while earning less than $100 per month while working around 12 hours per day.  [Yonhap]

You can read the rest at the link.

A reunified Korean peninsula is a big if, but if it did happen one thing is for sure that USFK’s role in South Korea would undoubtedly change if not end all together.  That is what former CIA analyst Sue Mi Terry writes about in a paper discussed in the below National Interest article.  I for one think that the ROK would want to keep USFK intact with less troops on the ground as a hedge against any Chinese adventurism on the peninsula:

Last week Kim Jong-un marked the fourth anniversary of his succession to leadership and his father’s death in North Korea. The leadership transition reignited discussion among North Korea watchers over how and whether the regime would be able to survive. Two years later, Kim had his uncle, Jang Song-thaek, executed for treason, sparking another round of speculation over whether the execution reflected a step toward consolidation of power under or was evidence of infighting that might lead to a leadership vacuum in Pyongyang. Because North Korea’s totalitarian system requires isolation to perpetuate political control yet is increasingly penetrated by markets and information, speculation about North Korea’s collapse will persist, and outside observers will judge that Kim is playing a losing hand.

For this reason, policy wonks continue to discuss whether North Korea might collapse and what challenges might emerge out of such a scenario. Nevertheless, seldom discussed is how a unified Korea might behave or how the U.S.-South Korea alliance might or might not adapt, change or even dissolve as a result of unification. Answers to these questions, of course, are speculative and are difficult to conceptualize, but Sue Mi Terry, managing director for Korea at BowerGroupAsia and former CIA analyst, seeks to tackle them straight on in her discussion paper, “Unified Korea and the Future of the U.S.-South Korea Alliance.”

Starting with the most likely scenario that unification will occur with South Korea absorbing the North without a devastating war, Terry argues that a unified Korea would face three possible strategic choices: continuing the alliance with the United States in some form, becoming an independent regional power and tilting toward China. A multilateral security arrangement or a collective security mechanism is unlikely to materialize as an option.  [The National Interest]

You can read the rest at the link.

South Korean fishing boat Sun Star is seen surrounded by thick ice in the Antarctic sea on Dec. 19, 2015 in this photo provided by the Ministry of Oceans and Fisheries. (Yonhap)

A gorilla is spotted climbing up Seoul Tower on Dec. 18, 2015, an art balloon in the shape of the herbivorous ape, that is. YTN, a cable news channel that owns the tower, installed the piece for the opening of the tower after renovating the lower floors to house cultural and commercial facilities. The structure had been limited to public access for decades before 2012 when it was used as a transmission tower for broadcasting stations. (Yonhap)

Number of S. Koreans Visiting North Reaches 5-Year High – https://t.co/Tft8yFN4tp

— Korea Noodles (@Korea_Noodles) December 18, 2015

You can see more pictures of the Lego Cafe in Busan at this Imgur link.  Via Reddit.